STORYTIME: My friend and I bought a Used Itzy Ritzy bag off a Buy, Sell, Trade page. We were both excited because we got it pretty cheap, the pictures of it looked good, and we thought we were getting a good deal! Well turns out when the buyer said there were no rips or stains, that was a lie! (Please be honest when selling things on the internet.) The previous owner did nothing to try and clean the bag, It was full of crumbs, some wrappers, and even had some clay or puddy in the pockets. The inside was filthy like someone took it into the woods/ park and filled the interior pockets with dirt, there were water stains in the fabric, It smelt weird, and one of the front pockets was even torn. I felt guilty because I told my friend about the Itzy Ritzy Boss bags and found her this one used. I was fortunate to get a majority of the stains out of the bag so I am very pleased. Unlike some Diaper bags, The Itzy Ritzy Boss Is not machine washable so it needed to be hand cleaned. So away I went with a toothbrush, on the exterior I used Clorox wipes, on the straps and stroller straps I used warm water with some Dreft baby detergent, and on the inside fabric and zippers I used hot water and Oxy-Clean. I am pretty proud of how it turned out, Some of the dirt stains were harder get out but It looks way better. The bag is currently at a family-owned shoe repair shop here in town and we are hoping they will be able to fix the pocket. I took the bag to them because they do great work and have made repairs to my Dooney and Burke Bag in the past. I’ll let you all know how the pocket turns out. Here are some before and after pictures of the bag. 

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In the hospital, I had no fear of bringing out the breast to feed my baby. The nurses would grab my breast and manhandle it, I even allowed a student doing rotations to hand express my breasts. I didn’t care, I was a student and I know hands-on learning is the best! But, sometime between being in the hospital and coming home, I started having anxiety about breastfeeding. I didn’t want to feed my child in front of certain people. I had panic attacks if I went to the store and E was hungry. It made me feel like I wasn’t me anymore. My anxiety got the best of me. I became quiet, apologetic and lost my voice (speaking up for myself and my daughter). But after a few months of breastfeeding, a strong support system and a wonderful Anxiety Group at my doctors’ office, I am finally becoming more comfortable. A lot of people told me don’t be ashamed to feed your child, it’s natural, who cares what other people think, and that is all true but I didn’t believe it. Only once I truly Believed it, then I was and have been able to comfortably breastfeed her in public. I actually pulled my breast out at Round Table Pizza the other day and Feed E and I think I kind of shocked my mom Because she knows how hard it has been for me to feel comfortable. E is almost 5 months old and I have more confidence and less anxiety making me feel like I can now be the best mom I can be to her. Who cares if people stare, or make comments, just know you are creating a bond with your baby and feeding your child the way God intended!

Isn’t motherhood just a big guessing game? We have no idea what we are doing yet we try to put a smile on our face and pretend that we have it all figured out. Some days I feel like I am at a breaking point… The dirty bottles pile up, my pump parts are dirty, the Diaper Genie is full for the One- thousandth time, the baby won’t sleep, I barely see my husband during the week because he is at work (Bless his heart), I have a bunch of things to get from the store but my Anxiety convinces me it can wait, and then I smell something and realize that smell is me because I haven’t showered in three days (that’s ok though, baby doesn’t judge.) Oh! and I have watched A Princess and the Frog at least 100 times… Today. Even with the hard days, I try to get my Shit together, I throw on my Cleanest Dirty Shirt, get my Messy bun up, and put on my shades to hide the baggies under my eyes and head out the door with the biggest cup of coffee my Keurig will allow me to Make! I have friends that constantly tell me I am killing it, Yet I have convinced myself that the sleep deprivation is killing me! But even with the Crying (Both E and I), the booger eyeballs, the Nursing Strike and my Postpartum hair loss, I truly believe it is all worth it when E looks up at me with a cheesy grin, and when I feel the warmth of her little hand resting on mine when she falls asleep in my arms. My child is my Strength in my times of weakness. God made women strong powerful and fearless on purpose because he gifted us with such an important job!

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Buy Buy Baby! Need I say more! The first time I ever heard of the store Buy Buy baby was when my friends were pregnant with their first baby. On their invitation, it said they were registered at Buy Buy Baby. I had no idea what this store was. Well, when I found out I was pregnant I had to go there! My Mom and I went on a Saturday for the first time to make my Registry in person. First of all, an employee helps build your registry, you get an awesome gift bag of samples and goodies, and you get to walk around scanning anything you want. Once I went for the first time I knew I was hooked. The closest Buy Buy Baby to me is about 35 miles away, and it is well worth the trip. It has been so helpful in getting to go there and see all the different products. My most favorite part is the fact that they don’t treat their customers like thieves the moment you walk in the door. They have the baby furniture set up like little nurseries, You can pick up and test out strollers, car seats, baby carriers, and more! What I like is they have so many different products so If you are Indecisive like I am you have a place you can look at things in person. I loved being able to try On diaper bags, Open them up, make sure my wide bottles fit in it and just be sure it is a good fit for my needs. They have just about anything you can imagine for a mother and child. I told my husband (who has yet to let me force him into going) that the best way to explain how great this store is that its a Moms Bass Pro Shop!! Finally, my absolute favorite part about shopping at Buy Buy Baby is the fact that they have a breastfeeding area for women. It has a changing table, and I mean a real dresser style changing table with a nice easy to clean silicone type pad not the shitty plastic wall changing stations, as well as recliners to nurse comfortably. If all stores had something like this, I bet I wouldn’t have breastfeeding Anxiety every time I left the house. I recommend everyone at least checks out their store online if you or anyone you know is having a baby! I am not getting paid to say any of this but, talking about this place makes me want to plan another trip soon!

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What they don’t tell you at your doctor appointments, the childbirth preparation classes, or even in the hospital is the fact that you won’t feel like yourself after having your baby and that is Normal. It’s weird to believe that you created a tiny little human and you are now a Mom. When you are in the hospital you have so much help, Nurses are there when you need them. The reality of being a new parent hits when you get home. Once you are home you come face to face with Motherhood. Motherhood is the stretch marks, the spit up on your clothes, the nursing bras, the dirty bottles, the long nights, the anxiety attacks, lactation supplements, sore boobs, the crazy hormones, the constant crying (Both you and baby), and utter exhaustion. The first few weeks are the worst. I cried constantly, I found it hard to connect with the sweet baby that I held for 9 months. I felt like all I was was a milk machine. The things that help me move forward is that sweet little face that looks up at me and giggles while I feed her, the little toes that reach up to my face, the little noises she makes after she sneezes, the big stretches she makes after a good sleep and even the warmth of my sweet baby girl cuddled up sleeping on my chest. Some days are harder than others. Some days you will cry over spilled milk. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed. Some days I feel like giving up, but I know that is not an option. Every moment with my baby girl is precious and they become memories before they are even over. All I can do is remind myself that I am trying my best. My child may not notice that I have dark rings under my eyes from the lack of sleep, that my shirt has nipple cream stained on it, or even that my hair is greasy because I haven’t taken a good shower since having her, because in her eyes I am perfection.